Lies I Tell Myself

You must have coffee before writing.

And also a biscuit. Or scone. Or chocolate chip cookie. Something with carbs because carbs = energy. That’s called SCIENCE.

You should re-read everything you’ve written until now before you start. Can’t know where you’re going without knowing where you’ve been, right?

This section needs more metaphors. Preferably involving food or nature.

You definitely need more adverbs. Seriously.

You haven’t described the setting enough. You have to¬†ground the reader with as many details as you can write (ideally using more metaphors).

These new words are awful. You should focus on the already polished ones and spend thirty minutes debating the merits of “a” versus “the” in that one sentence.

Actually, all the polished words are awful too.

All of this is awful. Have you seen how many metaphors you use?

Actually, you’re awful.

You don’t care about this story.

No one else will care about this story.

You should definitely delete it.

Delete it all.

Do it. You’re making a fool of yourself.

Even this blog post is awful. It’s not funny or clever and it’s way too personal.

Delete it.

You don’t have the guts to press “Post”.

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3 thoughts on “Lies I Tell Myself

  1. I love this. Also, ALL the setting description! Buttons!

    • By love it, of course I mean that I think it’s amazingly written, witty, and just great, and that I’m glad you had the guts to post it. :)

  2. This is so very incredibly true. I need tea and a candle to write. And I never use enough details.

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